Seeing Them Through the Eyes of an Auntie

It's that time of year. The time when flowers start blooming, the sun shines longer and... everyone gets tired of school. Our units are getting harder and harder, it's about time for our testing to start, and everyone gets a little too comfortable with each other. The irony here is that I am writing this after a week long hiatus from school. I am definitely refreshed from my break, but I know that the same worries and problems will be waiting for me in my classroom tomorrow morning.

Don't get me wrong, I am still very much in love with my job. There is nothing else I would rather do with my life. In fact, given the option of not having to work versus teaching, I would choose teaching. There are simply things that come with the job that are hard to deal with.

Where am I going with all of this?

At the beginning of spring break, I spent some time with kids. Lots of kids. Parker, my sweet nephew, turned two on March 6th, and his birthday party was last Saturday, March 9th. There were roughly twelve children at his party who were under the age of seven. Around half of those were under the age of four. Lots of kids. Lots of little kids. One of those boys at the party was my other nephew, Thomas, who is also about to turn two. Thomas is a typical two-year-old boy -- a lot of energy, acts on instinct -- okay he's a typical boy, period. Anyway, I think God was using Thomas to help me have more compassion for some of the boys in my class.

When I think about my nephews (and niece) my heart burns with love for them. I was there when all of them were born, and I helped take care of all of them in their first few weeks of life, especially Thomas. I will love these children unconditionally for the rest of my life, and there is nothing they will ever do that will cause them to lose my love. 

I obviously don't have that same connection with the boys in my class. I love them -- all of them -- but there are times when I get so unbelievably frustrated with them that I just don't know what to do. Without the bonds of blood relations, it can be very hard to maintain a positive relationship with them. I'll think, how can they do something like that? Where is their self-control? Don't they know better? What are their parents doing wrong? I can't deal with them any more!

Well, spending time with Thomas is the best way to answer these questions. As I said before, Thomas is a typical two-year-old. He acts on instinct. Sometimes things don't go his way, and he lashes out as any two-year-old does. When this happened at Parker's party, I calmly dealt with it by putting Thomas in time out, explaining why what he did was wrong, and having him go apologize for what he did. [It's always hard disciplining my nephews because they have me wrapped around their little fingers, but I know it has to be done.] 

What was so different about this instance of discipline, was that I could see some of my boys in Thomas. I could see the ones with little self-control, the ones who act without thinking, the ones who usually get fussed at a lot, and I thought, "These boys in my class are someone's nephews. They're someone's children. They have people wrapped around their little fingers, too. They deserve unconditional love and forgiveness in the same way that my sweet little Thomas does." I thought about how I will want Thomas's teachers to treat him in the future, and the patience and compassion that I hope and pray they will have with him. I thought about how I need to have all of those qualities now, with these boys.

It is a little different since my boys are ten and eleven-year-olds and Thomas is barely two, but it isn't much different. They're all children. They need gentleness, understanding, and grace. They definitely need discipline and a firm hand, but only when its motivation is love and guidance.

So thank you, Thomas. Thank you for being a blessing in my life in so many ways, and thank you for teaching a lesson to this teacher who still has a lot to learn.

Things 5th Grade Boys Say: Part Drei

Once again, for your reading pleasure, I have managed to pull together some of the silliest moments from my time in the classroom with 27 boys...and their shenanigans.

Here goes nothin'....

The Clogged Urinal

There was a week last semester in which one of the urinals in the boys' bathroom somehow became clogged.  It's not hard to guess how this happened...bathroom breaks inevitably become an extension of recess because they know I will never, EVER step foot in that bathroom to actually witness the havoc that is wrought behind that door.

Anyway, throughout this week the boys kept telling me that one of the urinals was clogged and I kept sending in work orders, but it wasn't getting fixed. And then...it overflowed. Big time. And one-by-one they all came into the room informing me of the ...contents... that were spilling over onto the floor.

My favorite commentary was from one boy who came in from the bathroom and sat down with a look of disbelief on his face. He just sat there, shaking his head, and said, "I just don't understand how anyone could possibly pee that much!"

An Old Soul

So... one of the boys, despite being very immature, has a very old soul. I think he's treated like an adult at home, and I know he watches grown-up TV shows, so that probably has some effect on him. He's one of those kids who drives me absolutely nuts, but as soon as I'm ready to strangle him he puts me into a fit of laughter. 

One day during our vocabulary lesson, I noticed he was totally zoned out -- in another galaxy. I turned to him and said, "Earth to Joshua!"

His reply?

"Grooouund control to Maaaajor Tom"

Out of the mouth of a 10-year-old. Unbelievable.

Seizures?

A few weeks ago, I had the boys break up into small groups. They were all working together on some math problems, and everything seemed to be going swimmingly. Then, one of the boys started twitching his arms and legs and shaking his body in a very bizarre way. (This is not unusual for this child and wouldn't have even made this blog had the following comment not been issued...)

Upon seeing this, one of the boys in his group casually asked, "Joseph, are you having seizures again?"

(Just so you know...this boy doesn't have seizures and wasn't actually having a seizure.)

The Fart Heard Round the Room

I briefly covered this story in my Facebook status yesterday, but I felt it deserved a longer explanation. 

We had settled into the classroom post-recess, and were quietly working on our math test. I was grading papers at my desk when I heard it...

It was one of those farts that could have been the movement of the chair or desk on the floor...and it takes your mind a minute to process what you just heard, and decide whether you want to believe it was a fart or not...but it was very obvious to me what it was. A fart.

I didn't look up because I was laughing uncontrollably. Yes, I still laugh at farts. I will probably laugh at farts until I'm 90 years old. I teach 5th grade boys...there is a ceiling to the amount of maturity I will be able to reach.

Anyway, as I was laughing and trying to hide my face, I started hearing snickers around the room. And then I hear something you will ONLY hear in a classroom (or group) of boys: the admission of guilt.

"Guys...I am so sorry. I did not mean to do that. I really thought I had it under control."

Well, this made everyone laugh more. And then, of course, they all look over at me, my head in my hands, convulsing with laughter, and everything falls apart.

I decided this was a good time for the poop talk, so I said to them, "Guys, here's the deal. Children generally have to go number two about 45 minutes after they eat. It's been about that long since lunch. Sometimes when you have to go number two you get gassy. This is totally normal. Everyone goes number two, and everyone gets gassy sometimes. Let's try to get past it."

This is when one of the boys near me leaned over and said, "Ms. Hebert...I need a gas mask for this room!"

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Now I'm just going to list a bunch of funny situations that aren't long enough for me to type into stories, but were still funny enough for me to talk about. Imagine the following as a montage of funny boy-isms.

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A boy comes back into class after using the bathroom with a huge grin on his face -- "for no reason".

A boy casually walks off the playground with a bloody nose, looks at me, and just keeps walking, right on to the nurse's office.

A boy falls out of his chair in the middle of class for no reason.

Two boys break the strip of wood of the kneelers in chapel "on accident" on the same day.

One of the boys gets his legs twisted in the arm holes of his gym bag while he's walking to PE.

A boy falls out of his chair in the middle of class for no reason.

A boy finds a tooth in the mulch on the playground and asks what he should do with it.

When given the "mean teacher look", for who-knows-what reason, a boy responds, "I have a condition."

A boy falls out of his chair in the middle of class for no reason.

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I hope that paints a good picture! 

Until next time!