Seeing Them Through the Eyes of an Auntie

It's that time of year. The time when flowers start blooming, the sun shines longer and... everyone gets tired of school. Our units are getting harder and harder, it's about time for our testing to start, and everyone gets a little too comfortable with each other. The irony here is that I am writing this after a week long hiatus from school. I am definitely refreshed from my break, but I know that the same worries and problems will be waiting for me in my classroom tomorrow morning.

Don't get me wrong, I am still very much in love with my job. There is nothing else I would rather do with my life. In fact, given the option of not having to work versus teaching, I would choose teaching. There are simply things that come with the job that are hard to deal with.

Where am I going with all of this?

At the beginning of spring break, I spent some time with kids. Lots of kids. Parker, my sweet nephew, turned two on March 6th, and his birthday party was last Saturday, March 9th. There were roughly twelve children at his party who were under the age of seven. Around half of those were under the age of four. Lots of kids. Lots of little kids. One of those boys at the party was my other nephew, Thomas, who is also about to turn two. Thomas is a typical two-year-old boy -- a lot of energy, acts on instinct -- okay he's a typical boy, period. Anyway, I think God was using Thomas to help me have more compassion for some of the boys in my class.

When I think about my nephews (and niece) my heart burns with love for them. I was there when all of them were born, and I helped take care of all of them in their first few weeks of life, especially Thomas. I will love these children unconditionally for the rest of my life, and there is nothing they will ever do that will cause them to lose my love. 

I obviously don't have that same connection with the boys in my class. I love them -- all of them -- but there are times when I get so unbelievably frustrated with them that I just don't know what to do. Without the bonds of blood relations, it can be very hard to maintain a positive relationship with them. I'll think, how can they do something like that? Where is their self-control? Don't they know better? What are their parents doing wrong? I can't deal with them any more!

Well, spending time with Thomas is the best way to answer these questions. As I said before, Thomas is a typical two-year-old. He acts on instinct. Sometimes things don't go his way, and he lashes out as any two-year-old does. When this happened at Parker's party, I calmly dealt with it by putting Thomas in time out, explaining why what he did was wrong, and having him go apologize for what he did. [It's always hard disciplining my nephews because they have me wrapped around their little fingers, but I know it has to be done.] 

What was so different about this instance of discipline, was that I could see some of my boys in Thomas. I could see the ones with little self-control, the ones who act without thinking, the ones who usually get fussed at a lot, and I thought, "These boys in my class are someone's nephews. They're someone's children. They have people wrapped around their little fingers, too. They deserve unconditional love and forgiveness in the same way that my sweet little Thomas does." I thought about how I will want Thomas's teachers to treat him in the future, and the patience and compassion that I hope and pray they will have with him. I thought about how I need to have all of those qualities now, with these boys.

It is a little different since my boys are ten and eleven-year-olds and Thomas is barely two, but it isn't much different. They're all children. They need gentleness, understanding, and grace. They definitely need discipline and a firm hand, but only when its motivation is love and guidance.

So thank you, Thomas. Thank you for being a blessing in my life in so many ways, and thank you for teaching a lesson to this teacher who still has a lot to learn.